Back in 2011, THQ opted to give the Grand Theft Auto formula a bit of a silly boost with Saints Row: The Third. Unlike the first two games in the series, this one went balls-out insane, doing everything from launching humans through cannons to engaging in ridiculous assaults with a giant sex toy bat. It was wild. And nine years later, it continues to be so.
And yet, there’s been very little hype behind Saints Row: The Third Remastered, Deep Silver’s secondary take on the classic adventure. We saw, what, two trailers? But, then again, how do you hype this the proper way? You can’t just go swinging a dildo bat and saying, “Play me!” It’s in its own groove.
That made a few people nervous. But we’re here to happily report that everything you know and love from The Third is included, like the DLC packs and all the silliness you recall. It may not be for everyone, but for those willing to jump back into this world, you’ll like what you find.
Getting Started Somewhere
Saints Row: The Third Remastered picks up with the infamous Third Street Saints becoming worldwide phenomenons. They have their own commercials, and they’ve become more popular than ever. However, that makes them targets; and the game has you basically fending off enemies and overtaking more territories than ever before. And by that, we mean in the style you want to, whether you’re slamming people’s heads into the pavement with a topless gangster; or going all out in Roman gear and weird-looking armor. Hey, it’s your gang, run it like you see fit.
That’s what makes The Third stand out from other games in the pack, even to this day. Volition loads up the game with over-the-top silliness and destruction, refusing to take the ever-so-serious route of Grand Theft Auto. That said, it’s still filled with incredible moments, including an invasion of a rooftop party to the tune of Kanye West’s “Power.” Even after all these years, it’s truly something.
There are secondary modes to take on, including a Whored Mode that has a surprising amount of value. And the main game itself, alongside its secondary missions, will take a while to get through. It may be old territory to those that defeated the game years ago; but, for some, it’s worth hitting again, if only because it’s not every day you launch people out of cannons just because you flippin’ can.
With Power Comes a Decent Presentation
While the box does say Remastered, Saints Row: The Third isn’t entirely as smooth as it could be. The game does have frame rate jitters; and there are times that the game can be a little too chaotic, dare we say it. But Volition did a good job sprucing up the game overall, with a decent frame rate and solid details here and there. It definitely outshines the somewhat inferior Nintendo Switch build when it first released (which, thankfully, has been fixed up a little bit since then).
Saints Row: The Third Remastered also benefits from a top-notch soundtrack, along with great voice work that keeps the comical actions of the Saints moving along. Never once do you take the game seriously, but it’s so hilarious and well-voiced that it doesn’t really matter. It’s like you know the Saints are winking the whole way through, and yet you’re smiling so big it doesn’t really matter. You’re in on the joke they’re telling, and you love it.
Gameplay That Lasts
The pure silliness of Saints Row may be a bit much for some, but it’s perfectly balanced with all the slammed heads, over-the-top weaponry, and vehicular antics. It feels like Grand Theft Auto with the restraints lifted, and you’re always interested in seeing what you do next. Volition kept most of Saints Row’s gameplay intact for Remastered, and you’re bound to like nearly every minute of what it has to offer. Yes, even the side missions.
What’s more, there’s a lot to do in this world, and the mere freedom of doing it just to see the chaos you can unleash is something. What’s more, you can invite a friend along for the ride in online co-op, which works surprisingly well and lets you wreak even more havoc. It’s a lot of fun and lasts longer than expected.
Go On, Join the Saints
Even though it’s based on older material and doesn’t entirely make up for the fact we don’t have Saints Row V (soon, we hope), Saints Row: The Third Remastered is still a mostly well-done port. It does have its jitters here and there, and not everything translates entirely, but as a whole, it’s still a worthy adventure worth your precious dollars. Besides, if you don’t buy a dildo bat, chances are we will.
The Saints live on in a few return to form for one of their greatest adventures, now remastered.
Streamer and Cosplay Enthusiast