I love a good, inspired Contra style game. There’s probably not a week that goes by that I don’t enjoy a round of Blazing Chrome, or, for that matter, Konami’s own Contra Collection. So, when I hear that an indie team wants to try the formula with a neat new wrinkle, I get prepped for it. Alas, EastAsiaSoft’s Queeny Army can’t quite live up to the hype, despite that wrinkle.
There are some things that the game does right, like having different “orphans” (or Black Widows, I guess?) step up to save the world. However, it fails when it comes to compelling storytelling and, more importantly, gameplay. You end up shooting yourself in the foot rather than making an impact towards your enemies. Sadly, that’s really saying something.
In Queeny Army, Everyone Is Queeny, and It’s Confusing
The game has a Charlie’s Angels sort of vibe, as you work with a team of female agents led by a loving professor. He helps shape them into the warriors they are today. However, when a baddie comes along and wipes him out, they spring into action with revenge on their minds.
Queeny Army’s premise has a lot of promise, but the storytelling itself is rather weak. It’s totally light work here, simply setting the stage for the run-and-gun action. Also, for some reason, each character goes by Queeny. Imagine going around a base and calling everyone “Queeny.” It’d kind of cool, but also confusing. “Let’s get Queeny for this mission!” “Great, which one?”
The story could be forgivable, but the game’s lack of entertaining gameplay really weighs it down.
All the Tools, None of the Talent
While each Queeny in Queeny Army are unique in their own right, they don’t necessarily play that way. The problem is they all run and gun about the same way. What’s worse, they lack precision, particularly in platforming. Considering you’re going to be doing that quite a bit to get around, it can become really frustrating.
There’s also no telling what weapon you’ll end up with. They get scattered throughout, and there’s barely any indication what you’re using until you start firing. In Contra, it’s clear as day when you’re using the Spread and when you’re using the Laser, for example. In Queeny Army, it’s completely confusing.
What’s worse, the ammo is limited, and once you deplete, you’re back to your basic weapon. That beats nothing, mind you, but it would’ve been great to just pick up a weapon and run with it, period.
Combine poor platforming, ridiculously tough boss battles, and questionable choices with gameplay, and Queeny Army comes up short in more ways than one.
At Least It Looks Alright
While Queeny Army won’t be confused with Contra III anytime soon, EastAsiaSoft did do its homework with the 8-bit style visuals. The game looks like something out of the NES era, right down to cute character animations (the blood!) and good backdrops. It also has a decent frame rate, even when things get downright chaotic, especially during the boss battles.
The music isn’t bad either. The tunes really serve each Queeny well, and almost make up for everything else the game is lacking.
Still, a presentation can only go so far if there’s not much fun to be had. Alas, this is the case with Queeny Army. These girls deserved better.
Hardly Considerable For Royalty
Had EastAsiaSoft made the game easier with controls and available weaponry, it would’ve fared much better. As it stands, only its presentation and premise survive unscathed, as the rest of the game is practically a bloodbath. This might even be too tough for those of you that mastered Contra: Hard Corps on its toughest difficulty. The price point isn’t bad, but most of the game is, so proceed with caution.
VIBE Rating: 4/10
Need a better retro boost? Have you checked out the latest version of Gauntlet?
